My previous post on Paragraph Structure (Essay Writing Guide 1: Paragraph Structure for Short Essays Part 1) touched lightly on writing topic sentences and strategies for elaboration. Too lightly in fact. This is why, in this post, I hope to extend the elaboration strategies in the previous post by giving a specific example for each elaboration strategy outlined. By using the same central theme for all the examples, the contrast between each strategy should be made clear.

In my previous post, I missed out a key elaboration strategy because I had wanted to focus on it exclusively in Part 2. But I realise now that this strategy should be detailed here as well. This strategy is an ubiquitous one: The use of examples. This is where we use examples, whether from our own experiences or current events, to bring life to our paragraphs. It is through examples that we gain understanding of the topic at hand. It is also through examples that we are persuaded to the author’s stand.

So, here are the four elaboration strategies (i.e. specific details, analysis, comparison and contrasting, and use of examples) with an example of the use of each. The theme for all four strategies is: “Mankind’s history is one of constant progress.” Do you agree?

1. Specific Details
   • When we examine mankind’s history, there is no evidence to show constant progress in important areas of human development. In politics, nations and people are still bickering and battling each other over long-standing issues: territorial claims, religious differences, economic gains, cultural and economic imperialism. More than half a century has passed but there is no end in sight to the conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians. In the area of trade, nations are still practicing protectionistic measures. When confronted with differences in religious beliefs, people still kill each other over which God is THE God. Scientific and technological advances are still being abused for self-interest, as is illustrated by doctors willing to perform cloning for anyone who can afford to pay. Given these considerations, the notion that mankind is making constant progress must be questioned.
2. Examples
   • When we examine mankind’s history, there is no evidence to show constant progress in important areas of human development. Israelis and Palestinians are still killing each other over a conflict that started more than half a century ago - even with the recent Israeli withdrawal from the Gaza Strip. India and Pakistan are still confrontational towards each other after their separation more than 50 years ago. International cooperation is still fragile, as seen in the Americans’ refusal to support the Kyoto Protocol and the unilateral American wars against Afghanistan and Iraq. Nations meet every year to discuss trade liberalisation but the US government’s persuasion of China to impose Voluntary Export Restrictions (VERs) on Chinese textiles to the United States proves that nothing has changed with regard to the pipe dream of freer trade. All the above are examples that show progress in human history is anything but constant.
3. Comparison and Contrasting
   • When we examine mankind’s history, there is no evidence to show constant progress in important areas of human development. In politics, the same causes are still fueling conflicts between nations and peoples. The Holocaust is an example of humans being overwhelmed by prejudices. Today’s situation in India is not much different given the massacres inspired by religious differences. In the area of science and technology, we still see abuses. Just as humans in the past misused dynamites, so humans today are misusing the advances in nuclear technology for military purposes. A comparison of the past and the present shows no constant improvement, only repeated mistakes and lessons learned.
4. Analysis
   • When we examine mankind’s history, there is no evidence to show constant progress in important areas of human development. For progress to happen, there must be improvements made. Constant progress also means humans must show that they have learnt from past lessons, and have avoided mistakes made in the past. An examination of human history, however, shows that, far too often, mistakes are repeated and old conditions still prevail. For example, humans are still governed by greed and prejudice, in spite of all past lessons. The Holocaust has not stopped ethnic cleansing in many parts of the world, as in Bosnia. The horrors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki have not prevented countries from developing even more formidable weapons. The political instability, failure of international cooperation and abuse of science and technology show too clearly that lessons are not learnt and mistakes are constantly being repeated. There cannot be constant progress when none of the conditions for it have been satisfied.

If you have read this far, you must have realised that few of the examples I have given are of completely one style or strategy. For example, in using Analysis, I have also used some examples. However, the most part of the paragraph is still based on the Analysis strategy, where explanations and analysis of the examples are given. It is the analysis of the examples that is the means of elaborating the paragraph instead of just the examples alone.

So, that is it for now. Look out for Part 2 of the Paragraph Structure for Short Essays Guide.